I've gotten an understanding on my cycle and it's become rather easy for us to be confident about whether or not we need to use caution during our more intimate moments. Since I have to constantly think about it, I feel myself coming down with a strong case of baby fever. It's been getting progressively worse over the course of the last few months, and I feel like I need another baby soon. It's completely irrational (my feelings on needing to rush), but women younger than me are on their second and third children and I can't help but feel like it's now or never.
Hutch claims to want children of his own and most of the time I believe him. We've been having this conversation for the better part of a year though, and he keeps saying he wants to wait. He feels like we won't have anything to offer our children at this point in our lives and that more stability might blossom into more opportunities for expanding our family.
And yes, I have things to do. I want to marry him and not be fat in my wedding dress. I want to set a clear path for myself career wise. Nursing school, university, or full-time waitress... I have no idea. But I feel antsy and indecisive. If I had to wait on myself I'd never have a second child.
I feel like I'm surrounded by pregnant women and babies. Every day is a reminder that I should have another one soon. I can't shake it; I've tried. I suppose I'll have to be patient, but the whole thing makes me want to throw a tantrum.